Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
