exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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