btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Just pee around me
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Randomize
