I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
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