you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Boobs speak an international language.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
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