Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
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While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
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I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
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