We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Princesses don't give blow jobs
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
