my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i came on her dog
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
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