With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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