The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize