your thong is hanging out like whoa
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
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