p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
don't judge my taste in strippers
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Randomize
