I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
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