Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
You have to summon your inner elephant
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
