it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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