He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize