i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
He uses pillows to masturbate.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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