apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
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What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
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I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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