Im at strip club and am horny
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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