"it" just moved
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
