my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Sex in the backyard? Check.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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