We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
