how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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