ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Randomize
