She's JV to your varsity
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Randomize
