I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize
