Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
