just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
