What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
