I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Randomize
