Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
