Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
I see more hoeing in ur future
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