Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Randomize
