After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
