I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
