i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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