Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
