I saw his package. It spoke to me.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
