Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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