...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
