I have demons in me.
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
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Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Randomize