Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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