I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Randomize
