I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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