I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
It's never too late to be topless.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Where are you guys?
Drunk
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
