i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize