i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
