What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
