Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
