My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
