Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
