his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
