Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
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