I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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