Tell her she can't have a vagina
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
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