Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Randomize
