Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Randomize
