how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
